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Cow Tippers

Scenario

The demo begins with the player characters on the road, on their horses, with their arms, armor, and items, 400' from the Violet Rusk Farm entrance. The farm is surrounded by a loose, 8' high wooden palisade, and the gate is barred. It is an overcast spring morning (5AM).

Violet Rusk is a legitimate dairy farm. They sell a variety of butters and famous cheeses. The family who runs the farm are Jomor, his wife Yohza, their son Jomor Jr and their daughter Molimo. They are all anointed followers of the Patient Arrow.

The mage Wurlo used a potion of ardor to convince Jomor to move his family into an inn ("The Sodden Teamster House") in Monom-Ahnohz for a week. Wurlo is keeping a giant blue lizard in Jomor's barn while the farmers are out of town. Wurlo likes feeding virgins to the lizard. The mage is making a minor cult of the Vicelord (which he started) do most of the hard work of wrangling the lizard and subduing prisoners.

Wurlo's prisoners are in three different places. Some are in the milkhouse cheese cellar under a wizard-locked trap door. A second group is in the farmhouse attic above a wizard-locked trap door. The third group is in the loft in the barn, the same building as the lizard (unlocked). The loft prisoners are basically safe until the lizard gets riled up.

The threats on this farm are cows and a bull (HoB2), dogs (HoB), brigands (HoB), snakes (HoB), a giant subterranean lizard (HoB), and a nuisance mage. The monster stats are on this page with some rudimentary HP trackers.

Lizard Riling

With enough commotion, or at the goading of its handlers, or at the party's entrance to its barn, the lizard will get riled up. Here is its general plan when it is riled up.

After the initial choice, if the lizard is out of the barn, or retreats out of the barn, it follows four basic steps.

Step 1

If the lizard is out and not carrying anyone, it will try to eat a dog or else ToP/kill and carry something threatening.

If the lizard is carrying someone already, it proceeds to Step 2.

Step 2

Run a random direction, determined by a d4 roll.

Step 3

Climb over the palisade basically effortlessly. Or out the front gate if open and nearby.

Step 4

Run off into the hills and into the wilds, ideally carrying out a fresh meal.

Cow Tension

A characteristic in this battle is Cow Tension. Cow Tension is initially zero. When somebody within the palisade, while on a horse, takes damage or deals damage, the Cow Tension increases by one. Once Cow Tension reaches four, the cows will begin to butt the cow fence.

Each butt takes 4 seconds (with the herd all cooperating). After 4 butts, the fence is knocked over. The herd will then try to exit out of the palisade gate, butting it over if necessary. The 22 cows will only attack people in the way of their exit. The bull will go out of its way to fight bipeds, but will prefer to fight a border collie if the dog is a closer target. If the lizard and bull are loose at the same time, and neither is currently engaged in a fight, the lizard and bull will fight each other.

There is no way to decrement Cow Tension.

The Hobgoblin Mercenaries

If a half-elf party member clearly displays their ears, or otherwise unambiguously reveals their elvish ancestry, and the hobgoblin mercenary NPC's are present and aware of it, they will immediately attempt to kill the elf-scion "on sight". This can be at any time in the demo. Otherwise they have no notable cooperation or morale issues. Davuu the Renaarian mercenary, Sisi's mercenaries, and other party-friendly NPC's do not have this racism problem.

Banding, Fleeing, and Rallying

The player party size is between 4 and 11, (although the hobgoblin mercs are likely to fight party members).

The enemies are 13 people, 8 trainer dogs, 4 other dogs (may fight everything else), a lizard (fights everything else), and a bull (fights everything else). 27 enemies plus 22 stampeding cows.

The cult will think the party are bandits with reinforcements closeby. Because the Vicelord Retinue is due to appear at 1PM, they will first try to hold out, especially against a smaller party.

Any cultists questioned during the fight will say they are just farmers. They will use this lie even if the lizard is loose or if prisoners have already been seen.

One plan for when the characters are discovered

Cult-ruffians will want to fight any single opponent at least 3-on-1. They will only stop ganging up if player party members "take them off" by engaging them. Players can move ruffians off their allies by getting the ganker to give ground or fighting-withdraw, or by killing them.

The ruffians with crossbows (Govohr & Haresha) will fire at the easiest, clearest invaders, then toss their crossbows next to the nearest building, drawing their bludgeons. The bludgeoners will band with the milkhouse guards. All ruffians will try to fight with their backs to a milkhouse wall, and will try to let their dogs attack first. 4 Trainer dogs and 1d4 loosies will join the fray. The remaining loose dogs will go harass large animals.

Ruffians on the house deck will cry for ruffians in the inner farmhouse. The 4 farmhouse ruffians and their 4 dogs take 10 seconds to meet on the deck, then fight toward the milkhouse and join the others.

The bull will be loose after 16 seconds of Cow Tension 4.

The lizard will act according to the lizard commotion plan.

The four lizard handlers will prefer attacking invaders to corraling the lizard. If other ruffians are outside, they will try to rally at the milk house. Izvan will attack-aggressively mounted opponents with his guisarme.

Dogs will chase horses and try to bite them (forcing a jolt). If the players are unmounted, dogs will try to double-team party members (including mercs) and will not give ground. They will flee the entire farm if they fail a save from Yudder's Whistle, squirming under the palisade and leaving for the wilds. All 12 dogs get a save. A torch-sized fire will drive them back for 14 seconds.

Wurlo is in the farmhouse second floor and will peek out of the shudders in 20s.

If any cultist is dead or ToP'd, and visible from the farmhouse window, Wurlo will change into Jomor Jr's clothes, drop his military fork, and pretend to be a prisoner. In this case, if the main gate is clear of cattle and the lizard is gone (or in the barn), Wurlo will use Veil of Darkness if he can catch a lot of invaders in it, then cast Aura of Innocence from his scroll, and jog out of the main gate.

If Wurlo is not aware of any dead underlings he will Mural a giant horse (scaring the horses and forcing an average ride check, and setting the Cow Tension to 4), and then go outside and fight with his +1 military fork.

Stealth obstacles

Players might want their characters to sneak in initially. Here are six possible complications for a character sneaking close to, or inside, the palisade.

Violet Rusk Farm Map & Room Descriptions

Farm exterior overview

• The buildings are in the east part, and 3 big fields are in the west.
• The center of the farm has a wooden cow barn on its west end and a stone milk house on its east end.
• North of the barn is a pit silo. North of the milkhouse is a well.
• A lowercase-r-shaped farmhouse is east of the other buildings.
• An outhouse is in the southeast corner.
• The quinoa field is full of tall grains colored scarlet and bright purple.
• The cow field has a herd of 22 reddish cows and a jet-black bull.
• The wild-grass field is full of sedges, grasses, giant ferns, and small bushes.

• On either side of the milkhouse door
• • Two men, each holding a staff, each with a sheathed handaxe.
• Near the cow fence
• • A man north of the barn. He has a large shield, a crossbow, and a flail. There are 2 border collies near him.
  • A woman south of the barn. She has a crossbow and a mace. There are 2 border collies with her.
• In the center of the farm
• • Four border collies.
• On the farmhouse deck
• • One woman with a sabre, and one with a scimitar.

Cow barn

Outside

A dingy two-story barn with room for 40 large animal stalls. Twig-sized green vines are growing between the broad boards, and there are water stains of varying heights and ages near the foundation. Three and a half cord of firewood are drying close to the east wall. Straw is spilling out of the south threshold. (There are 12' double-door gates in the north and south walls, both closed).

In the north wall, 18' off the ground, is a shuttered window to a loft, with a rope & pulley hanging off it.

1F Interior

A dim light is present. Some clay oil lamps are held in brass sconces affixed to structural posts. West of the south entrance is some sawhorses, some knee-high cut logs, a couple handsaws, hacksaws, and bow saws. East of the south entrance is an anvil, a few tongs, and barrels.

Closer to the north entrance are empty animal stalls, lining the west and east. The stalls are made of jointed wood and most have an oversized wooden bucket and rags outside it. The floor is made of cut grey stone.

There are stairs up to the loft along the west wall. There are prone figures upstairs and a bunch of baled hay.

(If they haven't run out already:) In the very center of the barn is a giant 900' blue iguana at least 12' long with a 6' tail. It is transitioning from lying to standing. There are two men and two women around it clad in metal-reinforced overalls. The women (Kozan & Lana) have 8' staves. One man (Izvan) has a 6' guisarme, and another (Jonozh) has a 7' pitchfork. Each person is poised to poke the lizard with their stick.

(If party and ruffians are in the barn together:) Every possible handler asks every party member who they are, then immediately says "get out" before a reply is possible. They point their polearms at random party members and start attacking-aggressively. The lizard will only target bipeds that have turned their back to it. Players could get the lizard to attack the handlers by giving ground. If 7 seconds of fighting pass, and the lizard has no back-facing target, its goal will be to make it outside. The lizard will try to dash out at a movement rate of 20. Any interposers will fight the lizard. The four handlers will try to interpose, but not if they are currently engaged in a fight. If the lizard makes it outside, it will fight the bull if he is loose still on the farm. Otherwise, once outside, the lizard attacks the closest dog or cultist. The lizard will carry away any creature it has ToP'd or killed, according to the lizard plan above.

2F Interior

There is some disorganized hay bales twined up here. There is also one woman and three men, all tied in hemp rope with their arms crossed in front of them and their feet together. The woman is familiar to Razosh, she is Ahmazha, his sister. There is a 20-year-old man, a 30-year-old man, and a 40-year-old man. (Details in Prisoners > Barn below).

Some guidelines about how they communicate if they don't all die:

• They first ask what is happening.
• The 20-year-old is Movaz, he is the co-worker of Yazam's dockworker sister Mishim.
• They know they are in the Zhano Headlands but not precisely where.

Milk house

Outside

8' high milkhouse made of huge stones with a square foundation. Its south wall has a sturdy-looking door made of jelutong.

(Posted here are 2 ruffians with staff & handaxe (Enozh and Fazanh))

Inside

There are some butter churns, a stack of buckets, a row of 5' clay milk jugs with cloth lids, and a wooden trapdoor in the floor (wizard-locked).

Cheese cellar

A cool basement, about 10' square. Some wheels of cheese are shelved on the wall. A steep but well-made ladder leads up. There are three prisoners tied up here. One is Zazoza, Pravna's sister. There is also a 30-year-old Fhokki man and a 30-year-old Ahznom woman.

Farm house

Outside

A Γ-shaped 2-story house

Inside 1F

Kitchen

In the center of the room is a barely-sanded table with four stiff and plain chairs. There is a small fireplace which shares a chimney with the room around the corner. A wooden counter is on the east wall, under a window.

On the wooden counter are three tin jars (thyme, cardamom, nutmeg). On the floor are 3 sacks (dried peaches, raisins, quinoa). A copper pot is resting close to the fireplace.

Around the corner, are stairs going up along the north wall, and an entrance to the sittin' room.

Sittin' room

Low, foursided table, with three short sofas arranged around it, for the purpose of laying down and eating. The fourth side of the table has a round cushion on the floor that doesn't match the other furniture. It's reddish and made of leather.

There is a door outside to the south, a chamberpot in the southeast corner, and shuttered window west of the door.

(The ruffians Arshan and Barkir, and four dogs, are in here initially).

Inside 2F

Hallway

A small junction at the top of the stairs. There is a door east (parents' room) and a door south (kids' room). A trapdoor is in the ceiling (wizard-locked).

Kids' room

Two wood and straw beds with homemade leather paddings. There are also two wooden and leather trunks with brass fittings (men's work clothes and girls work clothes). A nice blue dress is hanging on the east wall.

(Wurlo is in here initially, with his scroll and pitchfork.)

Parents' room

The furniture here is a single huge leather bed with a canopy cover, an enormous teak clothing chest, and a small endtable with wildflowers in a clay jug.

Attic

A stuffy, dusty attic with a slatted window. There is a spare wagon wheel, a quiver with five longbow arrows in it (+2), an elephant tusk ornamented with bronze, and a tiger skin.

Three prisoners are sitting next to the window where the air is sort of fresh. There is Amar, who is Sisi's brother. There is also a halfling in maid clothes and a 40-year-old man.

Well

Your basic covered well, with its own tiny wooden roof, a cylindrical arrangement of rocks, a bucket with a winch on a hemp rope.

Outhouse

This is a wooden closet built over a pooping pit. This one has saloon-style mini double-doors.

Pasture

A weedy field full of long grasses, with a dwarf acacia tree in the southwest corner. 22 cows are standing at the east fence, watching with interest. A bull is pacing behind them.

The pasture's fence is made of rough young logs. There is a watering trough but apparently the cows prefer fresh mud puddles. There are some old cow pies ornamenting the field.

Quinoa field

4 acres of rainbow-colored quinoa, a tall, beautiful, and fluffy grain.

Wild-grass field

A field full of weeds all tall as a man. It's somewhat contained in an old worn wooden fence.

Silo Pit

A sloping roof that directs water west to the wild-grass field. Inside is a square pit lined with clay, full of fermenting grasses.

Villains

Player Character HP Tracker

Merc Tracker

Prisoners (10 total)

Prisoners are tied with hemp rope, with their arms crossed in front of them and their legs allowing a 2.5' shuffle.

Cheese Cellar

Barn

Farmhouse Attic

Weird Outcomes

• If Wurlo is not evicted he will
• • Convert as many prisoners to his cult as he can (at least 1 from each farm-prison)
  • Rob all the food, tools, and furniture (as kindling) his underlings can carry
  • Take some cows also
  • Find a cave to settle his lizard into, or a new lizard
• If Wurlo is evicted and not killed he will spend a month gambling and then become a prostitute/burglar hybrid.
• If Wurlo is jailed in Monom-ahnozh, the Vicelords will eventually free him using bribery.
• If Wurlo is handed over to dwarves or gnomes they will try to discover his past lairs and deeds. Then they will ask the Monom-Ahnohz guard to pick up their prisoner, but the humans won't come get him. The shorts will then execute the wizard with a huge hammer because his cult already killed a bunch of people.
• If Wurlo is handed over to hobgoblins, they will make him be a scribe of hobgoblin history, and then a shipping clerk. He will eventually escape but will be hunted by hobgoblins as a deserter.
• If Wurlo is fed to animals his teeth could be used as a set of dentures.
• If Wurlo is burned thoroughly his hat will only be singed.
• If Wurlo is boiled in a giant stewpot the water will turn slimy.

Timidity

If the players try to hit and run the cultists on the farm, or "siege" them, or if they spend four hours dinking around and not doing their job, a prisoner is killed and a wandering monster shows up. If the party doesn't go fight the ruffians of the combat demo after another four hours, another prisoner is killed and the Vicelord retinue shows up to fight (see below). Every 4 hours afterward, another prisoner is killed (if this is possible) and probably butchered, and a wandering monster shows up. Prisoners are killed in order of relation to the player characters.

The Vicelord Retinue

At 1PM, a few powerful Vicelords arrive to bring one of the prisoners back to Monom-Ahnohz for certain reasons. The Vicelords' plan is to ask Wurlo nicely for a prisoner, and if he refuses 5 times, they will kill Wurlo with flails and take all the prisoners (although they only know of three). Hopefully the party is gone by then. If they aren't, they will fight the Vicelord retinue.

• A Level 12 cleric
• A Level 10 cleric
• 4 Level 6 clerics
• 6 Berserkers
• 1 Orc

Most of the retinue is in a white carriage, pulled by 6 horses. 4 Berserkers are riding in front on destriers. They are carrying an honor token of a drooling troll.

Vicelords are detailed in the Zealots Guide 3.

All have a heavy crossbow, a spear, and a flail except the orc, who is a slave and just has a pair of sandals.